As the morning sun peaks it’s light over the rooftops and sunshine begins to spill in through the blinds of my living room, I catch myself feeling conflicting emotions of both joy and melancholy. The joy is simple. I love the sun’s light and find it a personal gift every day that I get to be touched by it. The melancholy is because I also love the snow and I watch as the warmth dissolves the fluffy snow into liquid and carries it away.
The snow, to me, is magical and feeds both the adult in me and the child. The adult appreciates the way that it blankets the drab signs of winter, making everything look fresh and new. It temporarily relieves me of responsibility. It’s not unlike taking the stack of papers on my desk and tucking them into a drawer, knowing they are not in their proper spot but for the time being, I am free from worries about them. If there is enough snow, then it provides me with the remarkable gift of freedom as it drops all appointments from my calendar and I escape from the ties that bind me. In those moments, I allow for self care such as sleeping in a bit, taking a bath, or enjoying cocoa and a movie with the kids. It feels truly decadent.
The snow ignites the child in me as energy bubbles up from deep inside me and all I want to do is play. The teens in the house find this difficult to swallow as their inner child is telling them to take advantage of the cold and sleep more, but the child in me can’t wait a moment longer as I jiggle their feet to wake them and exclaim, “It’s snowing!”
“Ok.” they groan and wistfully attempt to resume sleep. But too late! I’ve turned on the light and am gleefully clapping my hands as I implore them to get dressed. Slowly, they stir and eventually give in….I believe it’s because they know there is fun to be had.
We head to a local park as we look to maximize the space for play and we’re hopeful that others haven’t swarmed the area as well. We play, we sled, we wrestle (because….boys), we make snow angels, we throw snowballs and even engage strangers from a distance. And for a period of time, Covid isn’t even a thing. Of course, we have to build a snowman and so we attempt one that is larger than life. Oh my, how snow can be heavy! Then, one teen decides to build a chair. And as we roll up our sleeves to aid in his creation, it evolves….into a couch that seats many. My goodness, how cold it is to sit on.
Finally, the child in me is satiated, creativity has been fully explored and experienced and we return home for movies, snow ice cream, cocoa and (garlic) popcorn. For a period of time, the boys snuggle up to me wrapped up in their cozy blankets as we enjoy light-hearted comedy on the screen. Days like this are my bliss. This is the quintessential in self care.
As my mind returns to the soft light that is rising higher in the sky, I wonder why is it that it takes a snow day for me to do self care, to tap into my inner child, to play, to create? Because if I’m only allowing myself to do these things on snow days, then it’s not happening very often. And, when my energy has been replenished through self care or through play or creativity, I have more of myself to give. Perhaps, I need to build in regular time to replenish so that I can do more, be more. There’s a Zen proverb that goes something like this. “If you don't have time to meditate for an hour everyday, you should meditate for two hours.” I believe this is to remind us….me, that taking that time to renew provides me with more energy...and also time as well, because then I’m more efficient. So, what’s in my way? Hmmm….that might have to be a different day of journaling.
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